I have anxiety but thats not who I am

Hello blog world. I forgot about you.  I started this blog awhile ago In hopes to accomplish something.  To open up conversation about mental health to lay it all on the line and hold nothing in and nothing back. I swore to my self I’d be an open book. But life gets busy so I stoped   posting.  Lately Iv been feeling a little empty  a-little stuck.  I recently had a DR. Apt about my anxiety. Let me tell you .. nothing makes you feel crazier then those types of DR. Apt..  Like I know me telling you that going to stores or work or even coming to see you to day was mentally hard for me.  I sound crazy. I feel crazy when I tell you normal every day activity’s that’s every human on this earth dose is hard. I struggle with an  Irrational  fear that I know is in my head.  I know  it’s anxiety .  Iv lived with it long enough to know what’s happening. I try to control it and to talk my self down. I choose to be upbeat and try ...

Oh hell... hear it comes again that overwhelming feeling of  the walls and the world is closing in on me. It happens here and there. I get stuck in my head overwhelmed about things that are going on in life, and the air starts to feel a bit thinner and my lungs no longer feel like they are expanding and functioning like they should. It can turn into full blown hyperventilating. It's the start of a panic attack I feel it coming on. Sometimes I can somewhat sit myself down and breath threw it. other times I hyperventilate think im dying and then its over .. I kinda just have to hold on and ride it out threw the storm.  I have a hard time not being busy as well because I find the more I keep myself busy the less time I have to overthink life and things that bother me. I have to distract myself from my own mind. That is  where it all start is in my thoughts. I panic and feel defeated by life obstacles  . Me distracting myself by throwing myself into work or whatever it ...

Hello blog , it’s been awhile. Iv just been you know living life, being a wife ,a mother ,working,paying bills. That type of thing.  Still dealing with that anxiety stuff all at the same time. To day I was trying to exsplain some of what anxiety feels like.  Now anxiety can be differnt in every one . But for me I was trying to exsplain   fear. I feel scared. all the time. I was trying to exsplain some time so don’t want to feel it. And how it physically hurts . The best I can describe is  like some one punched a hole threw you. Like just Bamb it hits you and it’s like there’s a hole in your chest. And this was still hard to understand .  So I  tried to give examples . Imagine some one telling you your dog died and bam 💥 your caught off guard and there’s just that instant  pain. That’s the best I can describe it.  Just that  punch to the gut take your breath away kind of feeling. A symptom of  anxiety is fear. And I know and Iv com...

I originally started my blog because I felt like I could try to turn a negative in to positive. I am on a journey to take back my life. And that starts by me being completely honest.  I have felt like I had to hide the fact that I had anxiety for a long time and I some how got it in my mind that I could not let any one see that I was anything less then perfect. I hate to disappoint people. But I'm no longer willing to live my life like that.  Hi my name is stacey and I suffer from Anxiety. Anxiety has taken alot from me and in my mind it has not rely been what you would call living. I struggle with daily activities simple task that an every day person should be able to do. I do not want pity. Because honestly I feel stronger that I ever have before. I still suffer but i'm addressing the problem I just want support from close friends and family I do not want a judging eye I do not need it as I am already very very hard on my self. Any way back to the simple task I strugg...

 So Iv been seeing a new Dr. since I have moved And though we all new I suffered from Anxiety it was never diagnosed with a name other then Anxiety . There are sooo sooo many different forms of Anxiety . She sent me home with Info and has Diagnosed me as GAD  * Generalized Anxiety Disorder*  I will just be posting the information she sent home with me. Generalized Anxiety disorder (GAD) is a mental disorder . It interferes with life functions Including relationships, Work,, and school. GAD is different from normal Anxiety , witch every one experiences at some point in there lives in response to specific life events and activities. Normal Anxiety actually helps us prepare for and get through theses life events and activities. Normal anxiety goes away after the event or  activity is over. GAD causes anxiety that is not ne or necessarily relate to a specific event or activity. It  also causes excess anxiety in proportion to specific events or activit...

This year has been the strangest and hardest. We moved out of state for work we are adjusting in a strange new area.  We are getting use to things.  I was determined as soon as we  got hear to make a home. To get work  and make things as normal as I possibly can for my family.  Change is hard for me. It always hard for any one I guess but for a person who suffers from sever Anxiety  it can become very overwhelming.  I have made a choice to try to live differently I still struggle I still have anxiety. Some days I feel like I am drowning. I force my self to go to work I try to be social. Its the strangest thing having anxiety a part of you wants to be social and have friends another part wants to hide. some time it can be quite overwhelming. I am coping right now. I came out to this new state determined to make a difference in my life in my family's life. I have made goals for my self. som are long term and will take awhile to reach some I am doing now...

 Hi every one its been awhile. But Iv had some thing on my mind and that's why should I stay quiet about Anxiety? I dont think you should. There was once a time where I felt like If I let any one know I had Anxiety that meant I was less of a person or meant I was weak, So I consumed it I struggled silently and it became very self destructive to be honest with you. There are thing that I dont talk about because again I dont want to hurt any one or I feel like it makes me less of a person. I was trying to find ways to self medicate. I was looking for help with out actually telling anyone I need help. This did not lead to addiction  or anything like that but led to a very dark place I was very very unhappy and my mother new it. I finely got help I asked for help and I have been dealing with this Anxiety for many many years. I have learned over time that Anxiety dose not make me weak or lesser. I have learned Many people suffer from it . I also started this blog to speak up about ...

When I went back to work after being a stay at home mom who suffers from anxiety My thoughts were pretty negative. I went in expecting to fail. At everything. Most of all I went in thinking I couldn't   count on any one there. Anxiety can do all of the above to you. fill your head full of doubt  connecting with people can be very   hard . The feeling of you fitting in or belong is also not there. I still have days where I struggle. I always will that's just how a person who has been diagnosed with an anxiety  disorder lives. Good days, Bad day's, As much as I want it to its not going to just go away. It is a part of who I am, But its not who I am .  Though it may seam small to some have over come a very big obstetrical by going back to work. And this is in a very humble way of me saying this but I am proud of my self. The struggle and fear is Very ,Very real and I am doing it. I keep fighting to go and I still get nervous though theirs no reason to. Iv also ...

My last blog post was how hard I was having with returning to work after 8 years. I'm finely feeling comfortable. The first week or so was so hard on me I came home crying almost every  night. I was having to deal with new things and felt overwhelmed with so many things . Being away from home and my family. Coming home and my kids were already in bed because they had school in the morning. I was so unhappy. Having to deal with the public. There were time and still are when I just want to hide.  Anxiety has a way of making you doubt your self. This is some information I found  on another blog. And the facts are dead on. The info below is from http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2014/06/anxiety-and-self-doubt/ Anxiety and Self-Doubt *At the core of an anxiety disorder is not knowing when it is appropriate to trust our feelings. If a person can’t trust his or her own thoughts because they are saying there is danger when there clearly is not, how ca...

I try to keep my post positive . It's pretty easy when you suffer from anxiety to think about the  negative. I don't like doing that . My life has taken some turns and I after 8 years of being a stay at home mother have returned to work. I am struggling majorly with anxity from this. I feel completely overwhelmed . I also just don't know who to turn to. I don't know who to talk to. I feel like if I open up and complain like I am doing now no one will care no one will understand  or people will just assume I am throwing my self one big pitty party. Mabey I am I don't know. It's been awhile sence I last posted on my blog and why I feel like this post is taking a 180 on how I want my blog to be positive and helpful to others going threw anxiety I have decided to also show the ugly side.  I ask my self why are you struggling so much why is it so hard to go to work and just feel ok. Thousands of other people go and do it every day.  Why do I feel so alone in this? I...

We are people . We are just people who tend to worry more then most.  We know that what we go threw dose not make sense and it gets in the way. We get just as frustrated with our self's as our friends or family may. Don't tell me to suck it up. Do you honestly think I would be doing this to my self if I could just suck it up... Its not fun. It's not like I wake up and think to my self I Want to feel like crap today, I am going to have anxiety ... dont tell me to learn to deal with it. It may not seam like it but I am dealing with it. some days are worse then others. there is no control. I dont pick when I am going to have anxiety ... None of  that helps. We know its hard on you. we are not trying to hurt you. It hurts us when we go threw it , It hurts us knowing it's effecting you. When we are going threw Anxiety or a panic attack do not give up on us. We need you. you need to understand that when you are going threw it sometimes there is nothing you can do to comfort ...

I want to start this  post out by saying being a mother in its own  comes with difficulties. I also want to start out by saying being a mother is one of the most challenging yet rewarding gifts I have ever received. I have struggled with my Anxiety  for a long while. It is an on going battle that I will face the rest of my life. My oldest Kid is 8 years old right now. I feel like yes there are still challenges and difficult times behind  but I also have a little better understanding of my Anxiety. It is still something I will never fully grasp. Every day I work on it . I am going to get into something personal but I also feel like it is something women should hear, And be aware of.  I only have 2 children. I am also from Utah. Utah is a state where you get married young I was 20 years old and you also have LARGE family's.  How ever I do see a change in the trend with fewer large family's. I still get asked if I am going to have more children. My answer is ...

 So I was doing some reading and  did you know there are 6    Different types of Anxiety Disorders. Each with there own symptoms .  I often find my self woundering why any one has to go threw these kind of things. Its not fun. I my self have Social Anxiety. I sturgle in large gropes of people I dont know why. I know when I am open about this people often worry how to act around me. They think its weird.  Well yeah it is weird... I dont know why I strugle with it. I dont want to .  I just do. I am just a  girl who tends  to worrie more and stress easyer then most shold. there is no need to act diffrent around me. I laugh I joke I feel. some time I may feel to much Generlized Anxiety dissorder Anxiety attaks (Panic dissorder) Obsessive compilsive disorder  Social anxiety disorder PhobiaPost-trumatic stress  Generalized anxiety disorder If constant worries and fears distract you from your day-to-day activities,...

OK before I get started let me make it clear I am not looking for pity. I dont need it, and I dont want it. That is often a reaction I get from people who do not understand Anxiety. It is often hard to describe and dose not make seance unless you go threw it your self. I have spent enough time pitying my self for having it. I dont need it from some one else. It is not a good feeling. I blog to help others suffering and to hopeful in my words and threw my Experience   try to help create a better understanding . I use to feel like Anxiety meant weakness. Its not. I am a fighter. And Hears why. I wake up each morning knowing the challenges that lay ahead. Knowing 99% of my problems are something I am creating in my head. Knowing I do not think ,or function the way most do. A simple task such as taking my son to school can be sometimes a challenge. I will hussel out the door worrying I am late. I will confirm with my husband several times what time school or any other  task takes...

I  remember  being in Jr. High I was in the cafeteria . It was a every day Routine nothing different nothing new. Iv been there and done this before so I dont know what it was about this day but I remember feeling extremely nervous and scared. I started to feel like all the air in the room was bring sucked out ,like my lungs were feeling with water. This is a feeling I get quite often now. Its like I am drowning ,my lungs wont work. They wont expand, Iv done my research and talked to a few people who go threw Anxiety and this is a very common feeling. *The drowning feeling*  Anyway back to the lunch room. I don't believe I had been diagnosed yet with Anxiety however I had been experiencing it, and suffering from it way before this lunch room incident. This is just one of the memories I have that stand out the most. All I could hear was  chaos and commotion. people laughing and talking the lunch trays being placed on to the tables and all of that noise turned in to o...

I love this. click the link to view and hear her speak. But  there is no joke about it ...there is no shame! this is a fantastic example of how  many other people suffer. How other people deal with it. And its clear its time to speak up. I will post the link  and also paste some of what she said.  http://www.people.com/article/kristen-bell-opens-up-about-mental-illness  Quote is from Kristen Bell:: "[My mom's] a nurse and she had the wherewithal to recognize that in herself when she was feeling it and when I was 18 said, 'If you start to feel like you are twisting things around you, and you feel like there is no sunlight around you, and you are paralyzed with fear, this is what it is and here's how you can help yourself," Bell added.  Despite there still being a stigma associated with mental illness, the  Frozen  star said she's not ashamed to ask for help when she needs it, and takes medication to keep her anxiety and depre...

This has been something I have been wanting to do for awhile. something more for me a type of journal of some sort.  I have put it off for many reasons. One is Mental Illness is something people don't like to talk about. It is pushed Under the table And locked away Like a dirty little secrete . Its pressure of putting on the face you think society wants you to be. The perfect Picture. because we are afraid of what others will think, Also  once people find out you have it they act funny around you or they try to what I like to call it Hannibal lecture you . No they don't try to eat you . They try to get into your mental Psyche  psyche  [ si´ke ] 1.   the   human   faculty   for   thought,   judgment,   and   emotion;   the   mental   life,   including   both   conscious   and   unconscious processes;   the   mind  in  its   totality,  as  disting...