What anxiety has taken from me I am taking back

I originally started my blog because I felt like I could try to turn a negative in to positive. I am on a journey to take back my life. And that starts by me being completely honest.  I have felt like I had to hide the fact that I had anxiety for a long time and I some how got it in my mind that I could not let any one see that I was anything less then perfect. I hate to disappoint people. But I'm no longer willing to live my life like that.
 Hi my name is stacey and I suffer from Anxiety.

Anxiety has taken alot from me and in my mind it has not rely been what you would call living. I struggle with daily activities simple task that an every day person should be able to do. I do not want pity. Because honestly I feel stronger that I ever have before. I still suffer but i'm addressing the problem I just want support from close friends and family I do not want a judging eye I do not need it as I am already very very hard on my self. Any way back to the simple task I struggle with making a phone call and reaching out. That is hard for me. I could not tell you why there's not a answer I could give you... I struggle running errands and going in to grocery stores alone. I have had to leave my shopping kart full of food and walk out before simply because of a pannicattake. I have lost friends and I have caused hurtful feeling with family. Why mabie before I did not fully understand why I have taken the time to actually learn about my self and this thing called Anxiety. awhile back things got pretty hard for me and I felt like I had no grip on life.  This is when I realised that I no longer wanted anxiety to control me. I am a wife and a mother  and I will fight for that.  I have been on self journey to bettering my self to being completely open with my anxiety. If you new me 3 years ago there would of been no way Id be able to work.  What changed? The anxiety is still there that has not changed it was my thinking process . I want to live life, I want to make friends and laugh . I want to feel ok and I want to be ok with being me.  Its not easy  and its not going to happen overnight it will be something that I will always have to work on. I'm ok with that .  I dont ever want to give up . I would never want my kids to see me give up. I will keep trying . I will not seek out perfection I dont want it. I just want to try. If I fail sometimes then I fail. But I was taught by my father when we had horses and Id get kicked off when you fall off the horse you get back on.  So my blogs are not just to help others they are to help me as well.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When you realize your capable

My last blog post was how hard I was having with returning to work after 8 years. I'm finely feeling comfortable. The first week or so was so hard on me I came home crying almost every  night. I was having to deal with new things and felt overwhelmed with so many things . Being away from home and my family. Coming home and my kids were already in bed because they had school in the morning. I was so unhappy. Having to deal with the public. There were time and still are when I just want to hide.  Anxiety has a way of making you doubt your self. This is some information I found  on another blog. And the facts are dead on. The info below is from http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2014/06/anxiety-and-self-doubt/ Anxiety and Self-Doubt *At the core of an anxiety disorder is not knowing when it is appropriate to trust our feelings. If a person can’t trust his or her own thoughts because they are saying there is danger when there clearly is not, how ca...
Read more

Kristen Bell talks about mental illness

I love this. click the link to view and hear her speak. But  there is no joke about it ...there is no shame! this is a fantastic example of how  many other people suffer. How other people deal with it. And its clear its time to speak up. I will post the link  and also paste some of what she said.  http://www.people.com/article/kristen-bell-opens-up-about-mental-illness  Quote is from Kristen Bell:: "[My mom's] a nurse and she had the wherewithal to recognize that in herself when she was feeling it and when I was 18 said, 'If you start to feel like you are twisting things around you, and you feel like there is no sunlight around you, and you are paralyzed with fear, this is what it is and here's how you can help yourself," Bell added.  Despite there still being a stigma associated with mental illness, the  Frozen  star said she's not ashamed to ask for help when she needs it, and takes medication to keep her anxiety and depre...
Read more

Being a mother with Anxiety and Depression

I want to start this  post out by saying being a mother in its own  comes with difficulties. I also want to start out by saying being a mother is one of the most challenging yet rewarding gifts I have ever received. I have struggled with my Anxiety  for a long while. It is an on going battle that I will face the rest of my life. My oldest Kid is 8 years old right now. I feel like yes there are still challenges and difficult times behind  but I also have a little better understanding of my Anxiety. It is still something I will never fully grasp. Every day I work on it . I am going to get into something personal but I also feel like it is something women should hear, And be aware of.  I only have 2 children. I am also from Utah. Utah is a state where you get married young I was 20 years old and you also have LARGE family's.  How ever I do see a change in the trend with fewer large family's. I still get asked if I am going to have more children. My answer is ...
Read more