It’s been awhile

Hello blog world. I forgot about you.  I started this blog awhile ago In hopes to accomplish something.  To open up conversation about mental health to lay it all on the line and hold nothing in and nothing back. I swore to my self I’d be an open book. But life gets busy so I stoped   posting.  Lately Iv been feeling a little empty  a-little stuck.  I recently had a DR. Apt about my anxiety. Let me tell you .. nothing makes you feel crazier then those types of DR. Apt..  Like I know me telling you that going to stores or work or even coming to see you to day was mentally hard for me.  I sound crazy. I feel crazy when I tell you normal every day activity’s that’s every human on this earth dose is hard. I struggle with an  Irrational  fear that I know is in my head.  I know  it’s anxiety .  Iv lived with it long enough to know what’s happening. I try to control it and to talk my self down. I choose to be upbeat and try to be positive. I go in to situations and I give it my all.  I try to put up a good fight before I give up. But it’s exhausting.  Recently I got a gym pass. I want not only my mind but my body to be strong. I want to take care of my self  I want to concur my anxiety. But guess what ...lately I struggle going to the gym alone. What the hell is that about?! How dumb right?! It rely makes me feel annoyed  at my self .  But instead of being totally defeated by my anxiety on days I can’t go to the gym alone Iv been working out on my exercise bike and working out at home. Small victories. Count them no matter how small they may seam.  They count even if you don’t feel like it. I could of given up completely  on my goal to try to work out . No !I’m not going to do that.  I don’t like feeling defeated. I don’t like feeling like I failed so I will do what ever  I can.  I do honestly hope that me posting and me openly talking about my anxiety . My own personal struggle.. it helps others . Your not alone . Your not the only one . And it’s OK to talk openly about it. Keep up the good fight.  Don’t let your anxiety or depression win.

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