I have anxiety but thats not who I am

I want to start this  post out by saying being a mother in its own  comes with difficulties. I also want to start out by saying being a mother is one of the most challenging yet rewarding gifts I have ever received. I have struggled with my Anxiety  for a long while. It is an on going battle that I will face the rest of my life. My oldest Kid is 8 years old right now. I feel like yes there are still challenges and difficult times behind  but I also have a little better understanding of my Anxiety. It is still something I will never fully grasp. Every day I work on it . I am going to get into something personal but I also feel like it is something women should hear, And be aware of.  I only have 2 children. I am also from Utah. Utah is a state where you get married young I was 20 years old and you also have LARGE family's.  How ever I do see a change in the trend with fewer large family's. I still get asked if I am going to have more children. My answer is ...

 So I was doing some reading and  did you know there are 6    Different types of Anxiety Disorders. Each with there own symptoms .  I often find my self woundering why any one has to go threw these kind of things. Its not fun. I my self have Social Anxiety. I sturgle in large gropes of people I dont know why. I know when I am open about this people often worry how to act around me. They think its weird.  Well yeah it is weird... I dont know why I strugle with it. I dont want to .  I just do. I am just a  girl who tends  to worrie more and stress easyer then most shold. there is no need to act diffrent around me. I laugh I joke I feel. some time I may feel to much Generlized Anxiety dissorder Anxiety attaks (Panic dissorder) Obsessive compilsive disorder  Social anxiety disorder PhobiaPost-trumatic stress  Generalized anxiety disorder If constant worries and fears distract you from your day-to-day activities,...

OK before I get started let me make it clear I am not looking for pity. I dont need it, and I dont want it. That is often a reaction I get from people who do not understand Anxiety. It is often hard to describe and dose not make seance unless you go threw it your self. I have spent enough time pitying my self for having it. I dont need it from some one else. It is not a good feeling. I blog to help others suffering and to hopeful in my words and threw my Experience   try to help create a better understanding . I use to feel like Anxiety meant weakness. Its not. I am a fighter. And Hears why. I wake up each morning knowing the challenges that lay ahead. Knowing 99% of my problems are something I am creating in my head. Knowing I do not think ,or function the way most do. A simple task such as taking my son to school can be sometimes a challenge. I will hussel out the door worrying I am late. I will confirm with my husband several times what time school or any other  task takes...

I  remember  being in Jr. High I was in the cafeteria . It was a every day Routine nothing different nothing new. Iv been there and done this before so I dont know what it was about this day but I remember feeling extremely nervous and scared. I started to feel like all the air in the room was bring sucked out ,like my lungs were feeling with water. This is a feeling I get quite often now. Its like I am drowning ,my lungs wont work. They wont expand, Iv done my research and talked to a few people who go threw Anxiety and this is a very common feeling. *The drowning feeling*  Anyway back to the lunch room. I don't believe I had been diagnosed yet with Anxiety however I had been experiencing it, and suffering from it way before this lunch room incident. This is just one of the memories I have that stand out the most. All I could hear was  chaos and commotion. people laughing and talking the lunch trays being placed on to the tables and all of that noise turned in to o...

I love this. click the link to view and hear her speak. But  there is no joke about it ...there is no shame! this is a fantastic example of how  many other people suffer. How other people deal with it. And its clear its time to speak up. I will post the link  and also paste some of what she said.  http://www.people.com/article/kristen-bell-opens-up-about-mental-illness  Quote is from Kristen Bell:: "[My mom's] a nurse and she had the wherewithal to recognize that in herself when she was feeling it and when I was 18 said, 'If you start to feel like you are twisting things around you, and you feel like there is no sunlight around you, and you are paralyzed with fear, this is what it is and here's how you can help yourself," Bell added.  Despite there still being a stigma associated with mental illness, the  Frozen  star said she's not ashamed to ask for help when she needs it, and takes medication to keep her anxiety and depre...

This has been something I have been wanting to do for awhile. something more for me a type of journal of some sort.  I have put it off for many reasons. One is Mental Illness is something people don't like to talk about. It is pushed Under the table And locked away Like a dirty little secrete . Its pressure of putting on the face you think society wants you to be. The perfect Picture. because we are afraid of what others will think, Also  once people find out you have it they act funny around you or they try to what I like to call it Hannibal lecture you . No they don't try to eat you . They try to get into your mental Psyche  psyche  [ si´ke ] 1.   the   human   faculty   for   thought,   judgment,   and   emotion;   the   mental   life,   including   both   conscious   and   unconscious processes;   the   mind  in  its   totality,  as  disting...